Sunday, September 02, 2012

I Was Tortured in a Horrible Manner...and Required the Respite of Earplugs

You know that show Modern Marvels on the History Channel? Mr. Lipstick loves it. Thanks to his common control of our remote I have fallen asleep to Modern Marvels: Corn and Modern Marvels: Dirt. Oh yes, a whole hour about...dirt. Then there were the engineering shows about everything that was ever built in Dubai. Those pervaded our television for what seemed like an eternity until Dubai experienced some kind of economic crisis or at least someone over there decided they had enough hotel rooms with gold doorknobs.

Tonight, however, Mr. Lipstick, master carpenter, songwriter, and lawyer, stooped to a viewing level so low that I covered my eyes and fled the room in search of earplugs. He started watching Lizard Lick Towing. While these folks attempted to repossess a tractor, I heard gratingly horrific accents, poor grammar, and overall ridiculous behavior. Those annoyances were only interrupted by cartoonish violence and grunting. Oh yeah, and dude that owns the company was wearing a shirt that proclaimed, "Get Licked." I wanted an emesis basin. Earplugs were less messy.

For some utterly bizarre reason Mr. Lipstick found this show extremely amusing. I think I have devised the appropriate retaliation: Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. That is, if he doesn't notice that I'm actually wearing earplugs while it's polluting our tv...


Rokon said...

It was very sad news. I don't like any ones horrible manner. Why I will tolerate it?

Lisa Porter said...

Right there with ya sister! That's what one girl just said to another girl on Storage Wars!!! Helllllllllp!