Fiberglass Is the New Fetus

It seems to me that there are two things that cause people to violate the unwritten code of Proper Elevator Behavior. The first is the giantly pregnant woman. Random strangers seem to have no compunction about saying, "is it a boy or a girl," or "my goodness, you must be so miserable by now," or "you look like you are about to pop." What in the world?! Why do people say that sort of thing? I think you could ask all moms everywhere and there would be unanimous agreement that the most egregious elevator offence is the touching of the pregnant belly. That universally infuriating experience is only made worse by the stranger who ASSUMES it is alright to touch your preggo tummy without asking. Ugh. Bleh. Outrage. I have never met a woman who is ok with that sort of thing. And by the way, why do some people think that all weirdness ends just with the request to touch, but I digress.

Funny how the close proximity of an elevator creates an artificial sense of intimacy. I can't decide what has netted more unsolicited elevator chit-chat...my twice preggers tummy or the purple cast on my foot. The giant moon boot from the previous post just wasn't a favor to any of my tendons so now I am sporting this little number.

By the way, I think the old tyme cast has gotten a bad wrap. Admittedly, the boot is more convenient for showering because it is removable, but no one seems to mention that it weighs about a ton. And it's freaking huge. A little bit of fiberglass weighs approximately nothing and it's comparatively thin. Perhaps it is because the boot is the in-vogue-ortho-wear and the cast has gone by the wayside that some people feel so compelled to comment about it. These comments seem fairly easily divided between mock horror ("WHAT happened?!") and some benign yet inane joke about having kicked someone too hard. People are sooo chatty about it that I am downright bored with the fastest answer that I can muster which is, "twelve years of tendonitis." Yes, adding the duration of this injury in there seems silly, but it has been my experience that leaving that part out opens the door to every stranger's story about any tendon injury that was remedied by ibuprofen only. You know what all that is? More conversation than is necessary.

Of course, the other thing that is pretty pesky about this whole situation is the actual pain associated with it. At the end of the day, way before I'm ready, I can be found lying down with my leg pointed skyward. Ahhh...some relief, and yet oh-so-boring. After watching tv and checking email and examining our ceiling, the only easy form of entertainment is to play on my phone. Thank you little EVO and the zillions of apps I have now downloaded to stave off boredom. Sometimes though boredom results in some very low-brow forms of entertainment. Like this.

Sigh...it hasn't even been very long. There are a myriad of blessings present-like how I'm sooo grateful that I'm not both pregnant and sporting purple fiberglass. Heaven help any girl similarly situated...she would never make it out of any elevator.