"So..." (head tilt) "how was your summer?"

I know a lot of people who went to a beach. Some people even went to a lot of beaches. I hate them. Not really. Well, maybe a little.

I picture my blog like this.

Covered with cyber-dust and in desperate need of an infusion of creativity. I probably should have asked a guest blogger to fill in for me this summer, but you know, with everyone at the beach and all...

My summer has been long, arduous, stressful, and devoid of the usual joys of rollercoasters and sandbuckets. Now I can't moan too much lest I moan too much, but it would be downright disingenuous for me to express much other than my utter relief that the whole thing is over.

I confess that summer began in a glorious fashion. Mr. Lipstick passed the bar and in a few weeks secured a job in a downtown office! Here he is the day he was sworn in by our state's Supreme Court justices.

After lunch we stopped by his office. Here I am beaming with pride.

My stunning Mr. Lipstick is officially Attorney at Law, business cards and all, and although he swears it is not glamorous, his days are the stuff of innumerable tv shows. Appear in court, depose someone, talk to client, then walk to Supreme Court Building while carrying Important Papers that say Important Things all sound glamorous to me. He looks hot in a suit too. Sigh...I digress. Where was I? Oh yes, The Tale of How Summer Pretty Much Sucked.

Well, you know there's no taking a vacation when you start a new job. [INSERT: "Lipstick, you (include as many expletives as you are in the mood for) should be ashamed! So many people have lost jobs and you have the audacity to whine about the beach!!!"] I had a few adult beverages to curb the whine of my inner monologue and yet I can report that prevailing logic did little to decrease my desire to frolic in the ocean. Letting waves thrash me about, inhaling the salty air...it rejuvenates my soul in a way that I lack words to explain. I missed it dearly.

JBB had a vacation from school though. His respite from vocabulary words and math facts mounted stress upon me like an endless pile of boulders. The quest for summer camps that are stimulating, fun, not insanely expensive, AND offer after care until 5:30 or 6:00 was worse for me than applying to college. Although JBB's overall experience was positive, the camp that was centrally located with the best hours for the most reasonable price was a poor fit. Mommy and Daddy Lipstick saved the day. Five weeks of grandparent camp included swimming lessons and art lessons and fun visits with relatives. A godsend. Except...Mr. Lipstick and I didn't see JBB for weeks at a time. Sort of like if you getting hives every time you ate manna. How fabulous.

You see, Mr. Lipstick and I live in Leave-It-to-Beaver-land. It is so rare for a family to not to have a stay-at-home parent that camps end at 3:00, birthday parties are on weekdays, and parties on school holidays are from 11-2. After care? Difficult to find, tough to coordinate, and nauseating dealing with the administrators who are shocked that you need it in the first place. I hate that stress.

I have the most enviable pharmacy job there is. No nights, weekends, holidays, or on-call. I don't even have to stand up, but I do actually have to be there Monday through Friday for 40 whole hours. Most women that I meet are incredulous, puzzled, aghast. "Monday through Friday....all day....," they coo. "Oh my, how grueling." Not really. Nine years of college and pharmacy school was grueling. The guy outside the office fixing the pothole in 97 degree heat is working a grueling job. While my job has stress, it is not grueling. Using my education and having the blissful knowledge that I could single-handedly provide our lifestyle for my family is actually pretty relaxing.

So if having kids is the best thing you've ever done and your job is great, then why does life's schedule have to be so damn inconvenient?