Just as Numb

I was in my last year of pharmacy school when I saw this.

American soldiers went to war. We all saw a lot of this.

Many military operations have been executed in the nearly ten years since the September 11th of 2001 became September 11th. I wonder what bin Laden thought when he saw these guys.

I watched a lot of television on September 11, 12, 13, and 14th of 2001. I stopped on September 15. I had no more tears left. I was numb. My soul felt shredded, and time seemed to stop.

Mr. Lipstick and I happened to be in New York City over the Thanksgiving holiday in 2001. We saw Ground Zero. It was burning. People filed by in relative silence. I remember when I saw those tall steel remnants of the World Trade Center. I gasped out loud with a horrified cry. I was numb. My soul felt shredded all over again. Time seemed irrelevant in the midst of such pain.

I saw the Statue of Liberty for the first time on that visit. So very beautiful, even from such a great distance. The island was closed, you know. Security.

Tonight Mr. Lipstick, JBB, Pretty Girl and I got home from our church small group meeting (aka great food and company...all occurring every other Sunday night). I helped JBB clean out his closet, sorting childish toys to give away, making room for his art supplies and new golf clubs. Pretty Girl wanted her two baby dolls and a lollipop. I had to wash glitter off of her entire face. I forced myself to deal with laundry before turning on my beloved laptop and curling up on the couch.

I saw the words, "Bin Laden is Dead," and I immediately thought that I must be missing something...something like the words that would show me that it was just a tag line, a teaser...

You just have to love tabbed browsing in times of urgency. Email, News, Twitter, Facebook...open simultaneously. Everyone I know and don't know all confirm that while I was putting away Power Rangers, President Obama was telling the world that yes, bin Laden is DEAD.

I felt numb. Totally numb.
But not in a bad way. In a I-need-to-sit-down-so-I-can-breathe sort of way.
Fast as lightning my mind was filled with...the flag stickers we all had in the days after, the singing of the Battle Hymn of the Republic at the memorial, the man who died in the twin towers because he stayed in the stairwell with the man in the wheelchair, the firemen who went into the towers, "Let's Roll," the widows, the politics, the politics, the politics, the moving on, four ounces of anything in a plastic bag at the airport, the cynacism, the grief...gasp.

Numb.
No longer numb with pain and grief, but numb with joy, relief, gratitude.

Bin Laden is over.