Sometimes patients say things that are ridiculous. Sometimes patients say things that make absolutely no sense at all. Then there are those times that patients say something that is undeniably profound. This is one of those times.
I have come to learn that this husband and wife were both blue collar workers who had the misfortune of being injured in serious work-related accidents. Both are now disabled and they come to Lipstick Pharmacy frequently.
I didn't know for a long time that they were husband and wife because their appointments are never on the same day. It's taken a while to know them, but now that I do, I like them. I find them both intriguing and interesting and in some way, I empathize.
This week I benignly asked Mr. Cotton Shirt, "How's your wife doing?" I know them well enough that he told me. Honestly. "She ain't doin' no good." He told me about the permanence of her injuries, her previous vitality, and how great she was at her job. Before.
Then he told me about their life before their accidents. Six acres, horses, and a two hundred and fifty thousand dollar house [note: that would be giant and fabulous in the country a few years ago].
"It was a poor man's dream." Whoa. That statement instantly became embedded in my mind. "Now we live in a trailer on one acre." I feel instant remorse for any mobile home joke that has made me laugh.
A poor man's dream...the sort of dream that depended a great deal on maintaining excellent physical health. That is, the upkeep of horses and land, but why a "poor man?" How does a "rich man" dream differently? Maybe social status, different types of possessions, entirely different cars, acquiring art instead of horses perhaps.
I have not stopped thinking about this statement since I heard it. Two of the most interesting offerings I've ever read on the subject are Class by Paul Fussell and Class Matters by the New York Times.
I also can't stop thinking about how they are still married...still together through all of the stress of injuries, surgeries, and losing their possessions. Whoa. I haven't gotten that out of my head either. Actually that memory probably needs to stay there forever.
12 comments:
Most of the poor people I know just dream of winning the lottery and buy their tickets and smokes at the same time.
How have you been? I seem to keep missing you posts :O( Hope you had a great summer!
Rich men dream of happiness, of understanding themselves, of being heard and recognized for who they are. But they have time for those dreams because they already live somewhere comfortable, and never question the future supply of good food, medicine, and education.
@Suburban Princess...very true about the lottery
@LPC...very insightful. Reminds me of the line from that Charlie Daniels song, "rich man goes to college and poor man goes to work."
Wow, really sad. However, it sounds like Mr. Cotton Shirt and his wife will get there again, the thing about people like that is that they are motivated and will do whatever it takes to get what/where they want. That is the American Dream, they'll find it again....or become content in their life together remembering the "good times"
Hi Lipstick!! I'm new to blog world, but just happened to run into yours.
I like the story a lot. It makes me think how blessed we all are. I read an interview by the man who wrote "Purpose Driven Life" and he said that he used to think of life as valleys and mountain tops. Sometimes there are highs and sometimes there are lows.
Now he realizes this is not so. Life is rather a winding road; in the good times there is always bad and in the bad times there is always good. It all depends on us and if we can focus on the good through rain or shine.
Have a great day!
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It is so ironic that I should read your post. I am a retired RN of over 25 years due to Multiple Sclerosis. I am on disability. Neither my husband nor I have gotten a cost of living raise for 4 years. My medication bills alone are $2100.00 a month. Way more than my disability check and more than one of my husbands twice a month check. I never thought I would be worried about money. I was a nurse. I knew I could always get a job. I never thought I would get a chronic disease that would make me give up my beloved career. But onto my prepdom. I thank God that I have kept all my preppy clothes because they are always in style and no one ever thinks I look as bad as I feel because I am always dressed like I always have. Preppy. Hairband, grosgrain watchband, loafersm knee socks or my famous funky socks, twinsets, khakis, my school ring or my signet ring. How do you think I look over so far? So, preppyness is far more than just a lifestyle, many times it is a saving grace.
This is such a moving story, and so is ^^CRSnoddy. It's tragic, isn't it, that in our country people who have worked so hard could lose it all because of injuries and disease.
This is perfect Miss Lipstick, thank you for sharing it... just the way you did, brilliantly.
Sending you a smile,
tp
This post made me misty (and I am not, generally, a "misty" person). Thank you for sharing this, so touching ...
Never ever take good health and good medicine for granted. Never.
Thanks for posting this reminder.
Hope you and your family are well.
xo
Thought provoking story! Thanks for sharing!
I said a little prayer for that couple.
Blessings to You- Lipstick and your family!
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