Tonight for no particular reason I looked at that picture longer than I usually do. The tears began to flow slowly at first and then more ardently as if they had been waiting all day for the precise moment to be released. He has been in heaven since 2004. Time doesn't heal a damn thing. Everyone knows that. It is a fairly decent distractor. That and responsibilities and bills and parties and runny noses.
I don't like Kleenex or more properly "facial tissue." Isn't it easier to refer to the general product merely by the most ubiquitous brand name? I think it is silly. I already have very soft toilet paper that is perfectly capable of wiping away tears. I have never met anyone who didn't think this was weird.
I wiped away my tears and felt an odd compulsion to take a photo of my tear-streaked face. My family is a private one, but I like to write about my deepest feelings and my silliest amusements for all the world to read on the internet. Well, I would really love for the entire the world to read it. I am insanely grateful to the fraction of world who has found me. Tight hugs to you. A kiss too. You know who you are.
Here is Lipstick. No make-up. Except for some residual waterproof mascara and some chapstick. Fluorescent lights from the well-stocked laundry room. That is to say, well-stocked with dirty laundry.
Why is this cathartic to post this silly picture? Well, fiddle dee dee, I don't know. It may even be a wee bit narcissistic. I do feel better though.
Something else that is great for feeling better...Peyton Manning and all of the delightful commercials available for viewing on youtube. Presenting my current favorite...
Enjoy.
14 comments:
BTDT - I cried for my grandparents just the other day. And I prefer toilet paper too so you can count me as someone who doesnt think it is weird!
So sorry to hear about your grandfather. Peyton's commercials and SNL sketches make me feel better too because he is so funny. Take care!
Time doesn’t heal all wounds….we just have distractions, like you stated. Finding peace is difficult but eventually happens at some point. Thank you for sharing your blog with the world. I am so glad I found it!
I am glad that you have such wonderful memories of your grandfather--especially tjose that you can share with your family.
Though my granddad died when I was in junior high, my brother and I have many fond memories of time spent in their small Arkansas town.
You're right. Time doesn't heal much. The other day was my dad's bday and I felt so sad. He died in 2003.But you know what? Its ok to cry, even if he died 20 years ago. I like thick toilet paper.The ones that wipe your soul. Your grandfather will always live in your heart.
I often find myslef crying about my papa who passed in 1997. Its still hard.
I do love those Mannings! Such cuties!
Wow you have beautiful eyes. Good for you to just follow your impulse. Sorry for your loss. And, I enjoy your humor.
Hey Sweetie,
I know, I cry for him too. I will miss my Daddy as long as I live. He loved you so much.
Now you can understand that love of children,so his love is all the sweeter.
Mommy Lipstick
You are right about time. We adjust; we get to the point that our sadness doesn't "slap" us in the face first thing every day, but it is still there in a different, more embedded way. Glad you feel better!! Hugs to you and - I will be a lot happier when Peyton and the Colts win this weekend. I'm a little worried! xoxo
You look beautiful. I think crying is good for the soul.
I also prefer toilet paper to Kleenex. So I guess there could now be a band of wierdos that would rather carry around a roll of TP than a box of Kleenex.
You're beautiful even when sad!
Hey, if you accept blog awards, I awarded you one (actually two--I combined them) in my post, this morning (1/25/10).
Keep up the good writing.
Ah, it hurts to see our Miss Lipstick sad, dealing with her sense of loss and facing the gaping hole that remains in one's heart for such a long, long, long time. Time does not heal all wounds, it merely serves to mitigate the pain.
But seeing the photo of those beautiful eyes filled with questions (when will it stop hurting, why couldn't it have been later, why did you have to go then?), the questions we have all asked into that void and hearing the silence.
You are so wonderful dear Lipstick, thank for sharing with us... It helps many of us still moving through a loss and grief, it helps more than you may realize.
Sending you a smile and a hug,
tp
Thank you all so very much. I read your comments over and over. Beautiful condolences.
@Suburban Princess and Slamdunk and Mrs. Lynch and Princess Freckles...thank you for sharing your memories of your loved ones.
@Mommy Lipstick...yours made me cry too.
@TP...thank you.
Post a Comment