Thank You for Asking...(and then I blush and curtsey)

I was reading through an insightful post on Joyceyland, enjoying, analyzing, mentally digesting. I reached the last sentence and noticed that it said, "Interesting to see what Lipstick thinks of this."

Well, I nearly choked on my on-its-way-to-being-stale Trident original flavor gum. I corrected my poor posture, looked very closely at the screen just to double check and sure enough, my fuzzy contacts had not betrayed me. Joyce Hor-Chung Lau asked my opinion. I feel very cool by association. Joyce lives in Hong Kong and covers all things Hong Kong and China for the New York Times. I like to read her articles there too and pretend that I am about to take a fantastical international journey.

Ok, so Joyce has been doing a series about working women on her blog. Recommended reading. Make that assigned reading. The blog post in particular is about a survey from Accenture which indicated that among other things 59% of young women defined success as, "balancing professional and private lives." In addition, 66% listed family life as a priority over career (29% listed career as the priority).

Joyce noted that I was the only full-time working mom on all of her links. Hmmmm...maybe I got this honor by default. I don't care-I am just as ecstatic. Joyce reads me. Happy dance. Alright back on track. That is actually kind of interesting because I don't know many full-time working moms who blog either. I think I should immediately dispel the super-mom myth right here and now. I think those non-blogging working moms sleep more and probably do more laundry. I just need to write and so here we are.

The crux of the matter, I believe, is this balance of professional and private life. This weekend I was commiserating with two friends (a lawyer and a bank vice president) about which day camps we would send our children to over the summer. We all need camps that mimic our work hours.

Part of me would like to be in the carpool line at 2:50 in the afternoon. Have you ever picked up a prescription at 3:00 in the afternoon? Ah...so we have noticed that pharmacies and hospitals do not close when schools do.

You know what is a little crazy. One day when I was off work, I took both kids to the dentist, then Pretty Girl to preschool, then JBB to school, then errands, then I had one hour, then it was time for carpool line. As I sat there waiting to inch forward, I actually missed my patients at work! AND I felt guilty for it!

I mentally berated myself...
Lipstick: "What is with you? Are you never happy? What would it take to make you happy? When you are at work, you want to be at carpool line! When you are at carpool line, you want to be at work! You are happy with the money you make, yet you want to have it without working...but you miss work! What is WRONG with you!"

Well, digging a little bit into that survey, I think at least 59% of women have probably berated themselves in the same way. What I want is to lead two lives. Or be nocturnal. Maybe work all the time and be mommy all the time too. Or perhaps have a part-time schedule. Ahhh.....wouldn't that be nice? Maybe just work four days a week? Have just one little extra day to get stuff done? Maybe. Probably not all it's cracked up to be. Plus it doesn't exist in pharmacy without some strange caveats (that would be boring to most readers...like still rotating through all shifts, etc).

Here is what I think of the ever-elusive, much heralded Balance:

-You have to do what you love or you will be grumpy and resentful.
The Lipstick example is that by the time I was through with maternity leave I actually missed work so much that I was kind of depressed. I need the routine and the interaction with people. I don't do well without it.

-Get a hobby or you will be grumpy and resentful.
The Lipstick example is that in April 2008 I was googling the words preppy clothes and found preppy blogs and I thought, "hmmmm, I think I can write some stuff."

-When you are with your children, look them in the eye.
The Lipstick example is that I was doing too much multi-tasking and JBB told me I wasn't paying attention to him. When I can't pay attention, I explain and apologize. Now he understands that he can't drive himself places while I put on make-up in the backseat because I was looking at the Lego tower he built while I should have been getting ready. Major milestone.

-If you are doing all of the above, other stuff won't get done. Decide if you can live with that or not.The Lipstick example is that I don't care that much if things aren't perfect. Mommy Lipstick's house is, however, perfect. Growing up, I thought everyone actually lived that way. Hahahahahaha. Now I have my own house. Mr. Lipstick cannot pick up after me quickly enough. You will not simultaneously have all of the laundry done, the house perfect, and the refrigerator stocked with healthy food while working full-time and meeting yours and your family's emotional needs. Not even with a maid. So get over it. Relax.

I am only 35 so that's all I've got.
Oh, yeah...one last thing.
Always wear something on your lips.