The Little Drummer Boy Beats on the Tom Tom

I have a wicked good sense of direction. I mean, all you have to do is point me the right way and then hold my hand the entire time and I will arrive at my destination just fine. I suppose then that it's a real wonder I've never purchased one of dashboard-mounted interactive navigation systems. Maybe it's because I have two fool-proof methods for dealing with being lost. The first is to call Mr. Lipstick and ask him where I am. The second is to not get lost.

I am surprisingly good at the second technique since I drive like a little old lady. I go to work and church and the kid's school and the mall. Publix, Starbuck's, and Target are all en route to the other essentials. Maybe it is a little misleading to say that I drive like a little old lady. Until just a few years ago I drove a black Mustang GT. It was a five-speed with Flowmasters and also leather seats, so you know, it was a little bit country and a little bit rock and roll. It was loud. People found this either very desirable or a public menace largely based on their actual or perceived social class. The entertainment value of that was only surpassed by the daily kicks and giggles of reaching zero to sixty faster than anyone else. People also found this very desirable or a public menace as well, but I digress.

Despite my relatively narrow driving range and therefore complete lack of need for a Tom Tom, I have been trying to conjure up a reason to purchase one. For me, that is. It turns out that now the navigationally-challenged do not have to be held prisoner by that boring and benign voice with the generic and generalized accent. Rap (and marketing) impresario Snoop Dogg has recorded all of the voice commands and you can now purchase his voice skin for your Tom Tom. I would buy this.
It's just like he's riding along wit ya.Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fo shizzle. And now for some Christmas cheer...
Merry Christmas, y'all...and happy shopping.