I Am Really Tired

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Almost Wordless Monday

You know how people have Wordless Wednesday? Well, I think I am going to kind of copy that idea...except write stuff anyway and have it on Monday.

Today was full of all kinds of little treasures for me. Mr. Lipstick and the kids sang Happy Birthday to me this morning while I flat-ironed my hair. I loved it. I got emails all day long when friends wished me Happy Birthday on Facebook and the blog. I loved it. I was electronically infused with a sense of gratitude and giddiness every twenty-seven minutes or so. It was exciting and heart-warming and awwwww-inspiring.

My Mother, My Daddy, and Nonna had these surprises delivered to work:I love these too.

Then when I got home this was sitting on the counter patiently awaiting my arrival:Kiss kiss, hug hug for Mr. Lipstick. I love this too. I was also super-surprised since we ate thison Saturday night. We so completely (over)indulged in the spoils of the chain food wonder Melting Pot that we were nearly too full to take this picture:
It's been a happy, happy birthday after all.

Boo Hoo Sniff Sniff

I love birthdays. I think the celebration should last at least a week. I think you should have your favorite food and go to your favorite places and be pampered while doing your favorite things. After all, this is the anniversary of your entrance into this world, and your birthday should involve at least one favorite something, anything.

Mr. Lipstick doesn't see it this way. He thinks this is childish, ridiculous, and bothersome. He becomes exasperated and I become sad.

This year is...(drumroll)...the same. So I have decided to make an executive decision and purchase my own cake. I will even be purchasing my own presents. I will not be wrapping the as-yet-to-be-purchased presents because that is a lot of trouble and kind of crazy. So everyone is cordially invited to my pity party. The mood will eventually be light, and pajamas are as welcome as high heels. There may be preferential treatment at the velvet rope for attendees wearing lipstick. If you bring Sly Stallone to me, then you can just have my birthday altogether.

ETA: Mr. Lipstick just walked in and said, "kids or no kids?" Uh...huh, what? Well, y'all we are going to Melting Pot and we are having a babysitter. Whoo hoo! Is it tacky to say, "Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me"?

Politi-Giggle

Oh, my goodness! It's been a big news day. Enjoy a little bipartisan baby fashion.

Here are four little funnies:
One
Two
Three
Four

Pride Goeth First

Have you ever noticed how people like to conspicuously brag in an inconspicuous way? I call this "innuendo braggadocio." I like to call it that because it sounds fancy (and vaguely musical...like vibrato or fortissimo).

Anyway, I think it is funny / interesting / nauseating how some folks like to sneak in their bragging. I wonder if this is a Southern thing. Kind of like how we say "bless your heart" in The South and in The North, you would probably hear...something else.

So without further ado...

The Bragging Girl's Primer
(or How to Look Insensitive and Out of Touch)

1. Complain. A lot.
It is vitally important to find fault with something in every situation. This is how a girl can attempt to indicate that she has discerning taste and lots of worldly experience. After all, nothing is ever excellent. Any and all things are merely adequate at best. Extra sparkly bonus points if the girl dislikes something that everyone else loves.

2. Minimize.
It should never matter how expensive any given item is, always refer to it as "affordable." Bonus points for the Bragging Girl if she includes the actual dollar amount and then reiterates that the item / dinner / international flight is "really reasonable."

3. Have a Plan.
It is essential to be inflexible. The Bragging Girl must never forget that all events revolve around her preferences and perceived needs (including but not limited to dietary and/or water). After all, she is the chic-est one in any crowd and her desires must always takes precedence.

4. Ask for Prayer.
When all else fails, the Bragging Girl should offer up her trials and tribulations for others to mention to The Almighty. If you are stressed that you can't take delivery of your custom-ordered Lexus on time, then, by all means, you should divulge this during a heartfelt time of sharing. Never forget that it is cause for concern if you did not get promptly seated at the best table or if you feel you were upstaged by a fellow Bragger.

That is all for now, because if you are anything like Lipstick, by the time the Bragging Girl has made it to Number Four, you are outta there.

ETA: My inspiration? Well, years of living in The South plus about ten minutes of The Real Housewives of Atlanta and this post practically wrote itself.

Whew....It's Friday.

This has been a long week. JBB has still not returned from Operation Spoiled Rotten at grandparent's house, and I miss him sooooo much. When I talked to him Wednesday night, they were making a craft in the kitchen with scotch tape and a measuring cup. At 10:30 at night, no less. I am also pre-exhausted from the level of spoiling that I will be dealing with when he returns later today.

Pretty Girl had an innocuous fever and had to leave school. She was fine and returned as soon as we had passed the 24 hour mark. That did not stop my own mommy-freak-out which entails many calls and texts to Mr. Lipstick. How is she? Is she better? Is she playing normally? Is she breathing normally? Is the fever responding to Tylenol and Motrin? Is she eating? Has she napped too long, does she seem lethargic, or is she just tired? Well, I wore Mr. Lipstick out. Pretty Girl was happy with extra milk, songs from Daddy, and lots of stuffed animals.

Hands down, the highlight of the week has been blog-exhilaration. I am giddy and gleeful and I must cyber-curtsy at my two new awards. First, I got some beautiful sparkles from Mad About Plaid Girl. She thinks we are a lot alike and I think she is probably way cooler than me, but I taking this award and flashing it around everywhere.
My next award is from the fabulous and hysterically funny Crotchety Old Man Yells at Cars He has awarded me with the Arte Y Pico award.Now, Crotchety is just one of the funniest guys you will ever read, and I am just blushing that he visited Lipstick-land and gave me a very nice gift. I am pretty sure that I don't know how to pronounce it, but like the selections on a fancy menu, it sure looks good nonetheless.

I would like to pass on the diamond to one of my new faves Kappa Prep and the Arte Y Pico to another new blog-crush Back to Barnwell. Kappa Prep is so chic and cool and pink and green. Barnwell is so funny and very cyber-huggable.

And finally....Have you heard about this movie? It seems to make fun of most everything that's been in the news in the last couple of years. I think it's gonna be a hit. Plus, Trace Adkins is in it. He is two of my favorite things: tall and a man with a really deep voice. Also, have you heard about Brad Pitt donating 100k to support gay marriage? I think this is really funny because I didn't think Brad Pitt liked marriage very much, gay or otherwise.

And one more thing....many, MANY thanks for all the comments on the photo of Sarah holding Trig!

ETA: Happy news! I think I am just going to collapse with joy. Someone get me an iced tea. Thank you Another Online Mom!

Edited to Add Some More: Now usually Google is just nearly all-knowing but this time they messed up and put my award in the spam section. It *could* be user error on my part, what will all those settings and options and such...but anyway, look what treasure I found. Thank you (in a heartfelt and belated way) Twisted Lisa

Have You Been There?

I really don't think it matters if all your worldly possessions are covered with decals of the Obama sunrise logo...

if you have ever juggled feeding a baby from a bottle while wearing a business suit and high heels, then you must love this picture.
I'll bet they even have Breakfast Night at her house.

ETA: What kind of lip gloss do y'all think she wears? It seems really long wearing. And for additional proof that I am a political junky about the issues and the ancillaries...the Republican strategist on Lou Dobbs tonight was wearing a Vineyard Vines tie!

Weekend in Pictures: Part 3

Now y'all, if I was really savvy I would know how to keep these posts from being in reverse order. Maybe we can just pretend.

Since JBB is involved in the aforementioned Operation Spoiled Rotten (which incidentally is below this post) and Mr. Lipstick had much law to study, Pretty Girl and I went to the Museum. It is all of seven minutes from the house, and it is so wonderful. Here are some Mommy and Baby Day pictures:

 

 

 

 

Weekend in Pictures: Part 2 - Introducing DeeDa

I have a tractor. My dear grandfather DeeDa (Nonna's husband) gave it to me. He has resided in Heaven since 2004. I love him dearly. I miss him everyday, and I still get those stinging tears in my eyes. I have them now, so that is all I have to say about that. Here he is:
Here we are on the tractor in 1976:
It is an International Harvester Farmall Cub that is about sixty years old. Saturday Mr. Lipstick went to get it and bring it home to me. It took about 12 hours round trip. JBB went with him and is currently involved in Operation Spoiled Rotten at grandparent's house. Here they are riding my most prized earthly possession:
Thank you, Mr. Lipstick. I love you.

Weekend in Pictures: Part 1

Friday I went to my absolutely fabulous stylist. He is so fun, so cool, and always greets me with a hug and a kiss. We southern girls like that in a stylist. He cut off eight inches. I really didn't feel used to it until Saturday afternoon (after I fixed it myself), but now I love it. It is so easy, feels so healthy, and now I understand why I was the only one my age with two kids who had hair that long. I feel free!

 

 

 

Mr. and Mrs. Lipstick

In 1997

Gillette Man

From 1993

I'll write more later, y'all. It's time to get ready for work. Hope everyone has a happy Friday!

ETA: So sorry to leave y'all hanging...
Here's the story: I met Gillette Man in 1993 in college. We dated and spent copious amounts of time together. We went to parties, walked around campus a lot, and talked endlessly. Well, you know how college is and how you can sort of drift in and out of people's lives. I think I saw him last in 1994 (?).

Enter the magic of Facebook (Crackbook). Mid-July I got a friend request from the Gillette Man. I posted the following that day: "Then I checked email and saw that one of my college friends has added me as a friend on Facebook. I just gasped out loud...I haven't seen/spoken to him in about 14 years. I was so in love/awe of him. He's very tall and was just gorgeous (my roommate used to call him the Gillette man), very proudly from Chicago with a thick accent and a brash, in-your-face personality. I was so crazy about him...he was like a rock star to me. Anyway, I've got to figure out my Facebook account. I've never actually logged in because it doesn't recognize my email. Who knows? Facebook support is working on it. I'll keep you posted."

Fast forward a couple of months and even though I am very late to the party, I am having so much fun with Facebook and Gillette Man is a pretty regular visitor to Lipstick-land.

Remember

ETA: You know, I've been remembering today. And now I am just pissed off. OBL is the most worthless POS I have ever seen.

R.M.D.

Special thanks to Candlelight for this fabulous Redneck Moment of the Day...

Caption spotted on the tank top of a fiftyish year old woman attending a NASCAR race:
"forget the virgin, do me instead"

And since we didn't have a picture of this klassy lady, here's a bonus shot of R.M.D.

Work Purse

Nonna is my grandmother. She is, for me, the Original Fabulous Working Mother. She handled new accounts at the same bank for 47 years. Her desk was immediately on the right as you walked in the door. She was always there wearing sparkly jewelry, luscious perfume, and of course, lipstick. Even though she is retired now, she is never without the trifecta of style.

If I had to pick one word to describe Nonna, it would be vivacious. She has always been this way. She has a picture from about 1945 in which she is standing in the snow wearing a bikini, high heels, and a long fur coat. I can only dream of being this fabulous.

Anyway, I could go on and on about Nonna's vivaciousness and amazing sense of style. I'll try to reign myself in. When I was litte, Nonna, my Mother, and I would go shopping on Saturdays. Nonna was always looking for the same three things: a work purse, a slip that was black at the bottom and white at the top, and a Judy Bond blouse. She would occasionally find a work purse, I don't think that kind of slip has ever existed, and I think the Judy Bond blouse thing was mostly a joke.

Well, now Lipstick needs a work purse in the worst way. I would like a nice large LV bag. I would also like to win the lottery and be a foot taller. I like Cole Haan bags too, but same problem. I seem to have a knack for picking out bags that cost $1,135. I guess I am just brimming with talent. I like Coach bags well enough, but they are ubiquitous around here. So much so that they are the Redneck Luxury Item Du Jour.

I think I have found my work purse. The Le Pliage from Longchamp. I know that this bag is probably the Redneck Luxury Item Du Jour in Europe (what do you think Europafox?), but I can't think of a soul around here that has one. Best of all you can even create you own by clicking here I remember a post from Tres Poshe Preppy about spending hours on the color selector on the Bonnanno's site. (some trivia about Lipstick...TPP inspired my blog). And here is where you fabulous visitors to Lipstickland come in. I was thinking black, brown, my initials on the leather, and nickel hardware, but then I changed my mind. About a dozen times. I need some tres help, s'il vous plait!

St. Paul (Minnesota, that is)

The kiddies are in bed and they are already asleep. Well, they're quiet anyway, so close enough. I am now watching the RNC on CNN.

A few nonpartisan observations...
-Rachel Lampa is just too cute and she has pretty teeth-the kind you see in ads for cosmetic dentists. Too bad she was so boring. And then she sang again. It was like Ambien-only noisy.

-I really love those little factoids that CNN is putting at the bottom of the screen. It reminds me of Pop-Up Video (without that funny little sound though).

-I also heart James Carville's voice. It is so soothing. Something about the way he says his "A"'s and "O"'s is just so very pleasant. Is he from Georgia? His voice reminds me of Jimmy Carter. This got me thinking about my favorite speaking voices. I once had to make a list like this for a Communications class. I didn't really learn much from that class because Mr. Lipstick sat across from me and I spent most of the time staring at him.

Anyway, back to the voices. Here are the people whose voices I love.

-Sly Stallone--ok, he's a given. Mr. Lipstick says that he has a terrible voice for an actor because it is so deep that you can't really understand what he is saying. I get that, but Rocky and Rambo don't use a lot of compound sentences so I think it is inconsequential.

-Patrick Stewart--he could make the goofiest Trek-talk sound scientifically legitimate and even sexy. He makes Shakespeare interesting too.

-Mr. Lipstick--another given. His voice is deep and is a mix of New Jersey and The South. Hmmm...sexy.

-Bill Clinton and George W. Bush--for the same reason...both Southern men who have that little crackle at the end of their words.

-Men with northern accents. My faves are Illinois (Gillette Man and Gary Sinise), Maine, and NYC.

There are no women on this list. I don't know why. Really. For what it's worth, I H-A-T-E hate to hear my own voice on recording.

How? Why?

How is it possible...

that Pretty Girl can wake up exactly 45 minutes before my alarm is set to go off

then become so utterly pacified with a small bit of milk that she glides back into sleep,

but my mind is wide awake creating its own worries,

and then falls asleep exactly 3 minutes before my alarm actually goes off?