Wednesday, December 03, 2008

There's Not Enough Money in the World...

To make me want to be a podiatrist.

I went to Dr. Foot yesterday because my left ankle has been hurting for four months. Three tendons and some ligaments are inflamed. An insert for my shoe, some Biofreeze, and more ibuprofen should fix me. I report back in two weeks.

I was terrified to be there because that's just the sort of thing that causes me to freak out. I was embarrassed to be sporting the "it looked good in August pedicure" and I don't like to have anyone touch my feet.

After all the pushing and stretching, Dr. Foot told me that I have bunions too. What??? I thought only creaky old people had bunions. This is not true. Apparently young-ish women who love MAC lipliner and blogging have them as well.

Then there was the scraping. You know all those really hard, tough bits of skin that make high heels more bearable...they are gone now. Filed away. I felt nauseated and squirmy. And even though I am prone to over-reacting (shocker), this was a nauseating and squirmy situation.

Overall, Dr. Foot was extremely knowledgeable, thorough, and graciously spared me from having to wear one of those horrible Darth Vader ortho-boots. The staff was very kind too, and interestingly the entire office smelled like cinnamon. I don't know what my insurance company paid Dr. Foot, but I don't think it's nearly enough.
BEFOREAFTER

19 comments:

Preppy 101 said...

Hope you feel better ! Thanks for the entertaining post - and the before and after - hilarious ;) I could never 'mess' with feet all day - nor could I be a dentist...ugh.

Two Little Lambs said...

I have bad feet and dread the day when I have to report to the dreaded "Foot" doctor....I know the day is coming sooner rather than later.

morewineplease said...

Dear Lipstick, so sorry about the feet issues!
This is too funny, almost sorry that I laughed.

Jennifer said...

Oh no, you are making me laugh, although I do feel bad for you!

Scarlet O'Kara said...

Lipstick...I just have to thank you for this post. For so very long, I thought that I was the only person who has "issues" with feet. It is so nice to know that I am not the only one that gets "that yucky" feeling when my feet are touched.

(I'm getting squirmy just thinking about it...)

Joy said...

My hubs had to wear "The Boot" when he got drunk and fell down some stairs and broke his foot. Although if you ask him he will say I pushed him, which may or may not be partially true.

Well I Do Declare said...

This made me laugh! Glad you are getting all fixed up without the boot :P I was thinking I might have a bunion a few months ago, and when I started researching, I learned that they are often caused by wearing high heels. Mine has never been medically diagnosed, but if that is a cause, I probably have it!

Rae said...

What a great post! Sorry to hear about the bunions. Who knew?!?!?!? Feet gross me out. No way could I do what they do!

Melodie said...

I don't think I'd be happy in either the before or after shoes.

Da Old Man said...

Youse women and shoes. LOL.
When Mrs was told she may have to start wearing "those" shoes, she cried.
Podiatrists are so underpaid for touching feet all day. I hate touching my own, I wouldn't want to touch a stranger's stanky feet.

Heather said...

This is such a funny post. I feel for you. I would not have enjoyed that visit either. I am glad that you are on the mend!

Scary Mommy said...

I made the switch long ago- now I cannot stand in heels for even ten minutes. I have no idea how I survived days in them. It sucks!!!

MR style said...

i prefer what's before !!! haha

Rach (Mommy Learns to Blog) said...

You kill me! Sorry you had an icky experience . . . although I can think of worse occupations that being a podiatrist. I LOVE Biofreeze - my PT used to joke that I was an addict. Nice, huh? I hope you feel better soon - love the before and after!

thepreppyprincess said...

Oh good heavens Miss Lipstick, the before and after shoes made us do the loud cackle here at the Prepatorium, you know the unbecoming hah-hah-hah noises. (The Consort was confused by the unusual behavior.)

We do feel your pain, quite literally. All those years of stuffing the feet into the skating boots? The feet were not entirely pleased at the time of siad stuffage, let alone these days. Oh no - now they have their revenge!

Grins & Giggles and hopes you aren't as brrrr cold as we are over on this side of the Large Lake.
TP

P said...

Sounds like I need to go to Dr. Foot

fashion herald said...

oh, no, the photo! I always end up on a dr's table with bad pedicures or hairy legs. the embarrassment!

Andie said...

Oh boy. Just yesterday at my bi-weekly OB visit the Doc (A MAN, obviously. NOT my regular WOMAN doc) said..."You know those shoes are not good for your back". To which I replied..."Yes, well, they are the only thing I have going on cute for me these days". To which he replied..."I didn't say anything about being cute".

I'm not sold on the "after" yet. But give me two more months.

Emily said...

Thanks for the comment! This blog is soooo true for me too. I've had "feet" issues since I was a kid, and it's gotten a lot worse since I started jogging. A lot. But I'm scared to death to go to the podiatrist, I don't want surgery! (I think it's a bone spur?) I used to wear 3-4" heels all the time...now...not so much :( I miss them. I can pull off short heels, or tall ones as long as I don't have to stand or walk :)