Not Worth It and Never Again

From this day forward, I can most assuredly declare that there is no item or collection of items desirable enough to necessitate a visit to Wal*Mart. I went to the great purveyor of all things Made in China this evening searching for a few simple items that I didn't find at Target.

In doing this, I broke the first retail rule of all suburban mommies:
If Target doesn't have it, then you don't need it.

As I entered the not-so-super center, I was nearly blinded by the harsh fluorescent lights. The assault on my senses continued as I navigated through jewelry and photo to the electronics department. I found only one of the items that I "needed" and promptly returned to the front of the store. All of the check-out lanes were moving at an imperceptible rate, so I decided to look in the book section. I bought Twilight because I can't resist knowing what the fuss is all about.

I suddenly realized that if I went through the self check-out, I could avoid social interaction. I did not realize that I would be needlessly detained behind people for whom scanning a few items was akin to launching a cruise missile. I felt all of the energy drain from my body as I waited. And waited. Finally I was finished and I raced to my car like a person being chased by demonic forces.

Of course, a post about Wal*Mart just wouldn't be complete without including the infamous Wal*Mart Bingo.Judging from tonight's experience, WM Bingo is disturbingly accurate, as a representative from each negative stereotype was present.

One final thought...if the BMI of Wal*Mart's patrons is indicative of that of the entire United States, then the executives of the fast food industry will never be found on Capitol Hill asking for a bail-out. I am not sure which investment would be more profitable--fast food or diabetic testing supplies.