Film Critique

I'm LMAO at Talladega Nights. I know it's pretty stupid and has been around quite awhile, but that doesn't diminish my adoration. I generally hate movies...for several reasons. Most of them are just too damn long and put me right to sleep.

And then lots of them just take forever to get started-fifteen (agonizing) mintues is not uncommon. I really need to laugh or gasp within the span of the opening credits. It also helps if there is a rousing, palpitation-inducing theme song (subtle nod to the master, Bill Conti).

Of course, the writing must be superb. Will Ferrell as Ricky Bobby thanking 8 lb 6 oz baby Jesus for the "bountiful harvest of Domino's, KFC, and the always delicious Taco Bell" is an excellent example. It also needs to be quotable. No line is more worthy than, "Yo, Adrian, I did it!". Bonus points for cameos by SNL alums or Darrell Waltrip.

A lively, eclectic mixture of characters is essential as well. Jim Carrey's ass asking, "do you need a mint? Maybe some Binaca" still makes me laugh so hard I feel as if I have actually excercised-like in a gym, with a trainer. Blue Collar Comedy Tour counts as well. After all, Larry the Cable Guy's "I don't care who you are, that's funny right ther" is quite divergent from the comedy of Ron "Tater Salad" White, who likes to get drunk in pub-lick.

Finally, its gotta end right. Not some ambiguous, thought-provoking, Oscar-winning nonsense. Oh no, I don't put up with that because my dear, I don't give a damn. And I don't like surprises either. All conflicts must be neatly resolved and everything in order prior to the movie's end so there is time for a warm fuzzy and another good theme song. "Shallow Hal" is a decent example. "Bruce Almighty" is pretty fuzzy too.

If a movie meets my stringent requirements for excellence, then rest assured I richly reward the effort by languishing copious amounts of time on repeated viewings and eventual memorization. Shake 'n bake, baby...shake 'n bake!