I don't want to screw this up

I just can't enough of these biography/lifestyle/slice of life shows. Right now, I like High School Confidential and Intervention. I am enthralled....mainly because they show the person in current disasterous form. Then they flash back to the baby and toddler pictures which of course are always adorable and precious. Then the next part is deconstructing what went wrong. A very common theme in these shows is some kind of problem with the parents relationship...everything from absent parents to normal seeming parents who fight all the time. It is such a sobering thought-to know that everything you do as a parent affects your children. So much written about all that...the idea of helicopter parents and does it matter if you let your kids watch TV and how much, making sure that they don't eat too much sugar, you name it there's bound to be a parenting book or bare minimum an article in the some parents magazine. But somehow what's seems to be overlooked is the notion that your own personality and level of maturity has perhaps the greatest impact on your children. How do you handle anger? When you scream at them (cause let's be honest-we all have), then do you later apologize for losing your cool? Do you just talk to your kids about anything old thing at all? Hubby is really amazing at this. And it was hard won too. His dad just yelled. And then took a break only to keep yelling. Hubby says, "lets sit down and talk. Why do you think that Mommy and Daddy want you to...?" I don't think I have any readers yet, but I can well imagine someone saying-I try that and it doesn't work. LOL, because so do I. And I think his big booming deep Daddy voice has a lot to do with the effectiveness of his technique. But I have to say, it works. I do my best to put my own spin on it and do it too. I just keep thinking if we can commicate now, and have a pattern of daily communication established, maybe the teenage years and young adulthood will be less tumultuous. While the parents of teenagers roll their eyes, I'll just conclude my ramblings with the thought from a Sunday School teacher of mine. He has five kids (age 3 to 16) and he told us to just be where they are and eventually they will talk. He was talking specifically about his teenage son, (you know, "how was you day?" "fine." "anything new?" "no") and how he would just go and sit next to his son watching TV and after awhile of not talking, the son would start talking about something he saw and then before you know it, they were having a conversation. I don't know about everyone else, but having kids is the biggest responsbility I can imagine. Sometimes in the midst of some crisis like "get your shoes on, we are late!" I think, how will they remember this and how will they remember me when they are grown up. Most importantly, am I teaching them what they need to know. Paradoxically, it mellows me out every time because above all else, I don't want to screw this up.